Hi everyone!! As I just shared in my more personal blog http://kaymoxie.blogspot.com God has been doing crazy amazing things in my life. It really hasn't been easy especially the last week or so and I was fighting a slight depression the last couple of days but God has really broken me free of it and I'm pretty sure it was just an attack from the enemy. Something I heard in church today that I wanted to share with you all that I didnt really think of this in depth is that the devil only comes to kill, steal and destroy. We often look for the obvious areas in our lives that he would attack but something else that I mentioned in the last blog on my other page, is that the devil will always attack where we're the most sensitive. I've been learning how to break free of fear and passivity over the last week and its really amazingly beautiful to me just how personal God is with all of us. Just the opposite is true: The devil is personal with us too and that's why he is so good at what he does. We have the power to fight him though, if we have Christ in our lives. It really is as simple as rebuking and rejecting him in Jesus's name. It just takes a lot of strength (only with Christ) for us to be able to get to that place. I've seen areas that I've not been that loving in the way I interact with people and they are areas that I didnt even know about. The thing I didnt really know is that fear and passivity are actually forms of sin...fear because when we let it control us, we're not fully trusting God and we're letting the devil tromp on all God has given us. There is no "kingdom come" the kingdom is already here and God has given it to us...it's a lie from the devil that we're yet to receive it. If the devil makes us think we dont even have it yet, he is one step farther in his game. I have to say that this past week was really hard on all of us but God is breaking through and will continue to do so!! I still get scared by different things in my life but God is proving over and over that I'm in his hands and that nothing is too insignificant for him. He loves us all and its not just an obligation to him. He is crazy about you...believe it or not. It doesnt matter how you feel, he still loves you and that is really something God has been opening my eyes with.
Please be praying for me this next week: I'm one of the leaders in charge of our dinner theater and on top of that, I'm learning a new dance that I might be performing for our show in about 2 weeks and I'm really nervous and feeling a little stressed cause I know how important this is and want to get it, yet I'm really slow and never get enough sleep to stay focused. Please pray that God will cover me with Jesus's blood that way the enemy wont attack my mind or heart this next week. Please be praying that there will be peace and unity with my group...that we'll continue to get along with each other. Lastly, please be praying about my finances. I trust God and know that he can do anything but I do owe at least a couple hundred to the school and I've not been able to find out how much I actually have vs how much I need, so its a little stressful cause I dont know what to do. I do know that I'm going to try my hardest in Christ, to make this happen (going on outreach). I do feel peace with maybe having to go home sooner, but it has to be God's will and not because I'm not trying my hardest. I at least need to pay the school back even if I dont get to go. Thank you so much for your prayers and support!!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Free
It has been a really crazy week and a half!! I definitely learned a lot during Holy Spirit week!! In my personal blog, I shared a couple stories and one of them is the story of Rapunzel and how I feel like I really relate with the story line. One of the things in the story...is how from the very beginning the "stepmother" could see that Rapunzel had a special gift and immense beauty and she knew that the only way she could have what Rapunzel had was with her permission so she did everything she could to trick Rapunzel into believing that she was safe and loved behind the walls of the tower. Well, along with that is something that I learned this last week: the devil isn't going to try as hard to stop the areas that God hasn't called you to. He's going to go for the very specific things that God has for you, and he is going to try to convince you that you'd never be good at that thing, or that you could never deserve that kind of love (whatever your personal story is). The thing God has called you to is going to be the thing that the devil attacks the most because he knows that if you discover that gift/dream, God can use you in big ways. There are different tactics to how the devil destroys your destiny, but he's not going to do it in an obvious way. If you knew that there was a full out lie being told to you, you wouldn't even think twice. But when you hear a half truth along with the lie...you get confused and it can sound really realistic and good. Anyway, during last week, I was prophesied over and although I knew I love to dance and other things...the thing that I was told God is possibly calling me to, is the very thing that I gave up on several years ago because I thought I didnt have what it took. The people that are meant to speak are going to be the ones that stutter (remember Moses). I guess I never realized that...I had honestly written these things off as being things that God didnt have for me. Wow have I been so deceived. When I started to uncover different truths in my life, God started revealing even more and I saw other areas in my life that I had been believing lies. I got to give my testimony this last week too, and it was one of the scariest things that I've done but the most freeing too. There have been other times that I was asked to give my testimony, the last time being my baptism 3 years ago when I was 19. I know that my testimony was good because it's not about the person giving the story, it's about the God that brought the story to life. But, there are things that I wish I would've shared that I didnt and I kind of regretted it ever since. And then with YWAM I was given that chance again. I promised God that I was going to just share whatever he led me to, and it was so good the way that I felt so much peace. I shared the places of deepest hurt, greatest embarrassment...and yet I was treated with love and acceptance. Something that I shared with people is that with all that happened in my life, I got to a point where I stopped thinking I was loved. People would tell me but then I would get the idea that it was just cause they had no choice. Without realizing it, I saw God that way too...where I knew that he loved me but I unconsciously thought that it was because he created me and was obligated to love me but that he wasn't actually IN love with me. It was a really sad realization but it really opened my eyes to see that it was a head knowledge but not a heart belief. It's really crazy and amazing how the very things that I wanted to work on before coming here are the very things that God is helping me with. When I was on the plane to come here, I knew that I was leaving my past behind...but I didnt really think that the areas I needed work on were going to be able to be brought to attention. Yet, since I've come here I've faced so many fears, I'm becoming more confident, and I'm learning how to accept love. The most important thing is that I really feel and believe in God's love for me. I know that I still have a little ways to go, but man I really feel that I've come a long way. God has become so personal to me and I know that he really does love me, and I'm able to say that and not blink. I'm able to look in the mirror now without cringing. I'm able to let people talk to me without always wondering whether or not they actually WANT to talk to me. I've been overcoming little things like fear of cockroaches, stairs, and even my fear of the ocean I'm not so afraid anymore. Weird huh??? There is so much love here and I really love that environment. You never really hear anyone putting someone else down that often...when I gave my testimony, I didnt feel judged and honestly that's a first for me cause in other places I would always get the eye even if people didnt say what they were thinking. I actually LIKE being different and weird and I honestly am learning not to let people's opinions get to me so much. With other updates, we found out that we're not only going to LA and South Africa, but now going to Vegas too! I found out that I'm doing a lot more acting then I originally thought I was going to be. I tried out for a solo which I never thought I would do...and I sang a song that my friends and I wrote...in front of a lot of people! It might sound weird, but I really think that I left a girl and its looking quite possible that I might be going home a woman. And honestly, that makes me a little teary eyed thinking about it cause I never expected this much healing and growth to come here but it is. God just loves me that much and every time I think about it, I'm in awe. I still dont really know how I'm doing with outreach funds...but I've seen such big love here. I had several friends pitching in to help me get enough and really...ahhh I'm so touched!! It's really scary to open up to people but I'm starting to think that maybe it's going to be ok, and really this is the best place for all these things God is working in my life, to take place. Something that I think I'm seeing, is that God really does want to use me for big things and although I dont get why because I dont feel that important, I feel totally humbled and just excited to be a part of His story. I might be leaving out a lot of things, so if you have any questions...please let me know!! If you feel led to give a donation for outreach, please talk to me!! I'm going to hopefully find out tomorrow whether or not I have enough to at least get my ticket..but I really think that I am really close!! Please be praying for me cause I feel like there might be a decision I have to make and I dont really know for sure yet whether or not it's even one that I need to make. I know that's really vague, but please pray for wisdom and that I will get clarity. I will update you guys after I know what God is leading me to do. Thank you all so much for the support!!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
His Heart is Bigger!!
HI everyone!! It has been such a crazy week or so since I last wrote an update! God is always on the move and it literally amazes me every day that I've been here. :)
I cant remember what I last wrote about, but I wanted to let you all know that I had a friend in my class who got really ill for about a week and then took a medication that she had an allergic reaction to so she's been battling a lot this last week. Thank you all who have been praying for her, she is doing so much better! My other friend who had the visa problems about a few weeks ago is here and safe. I guess when I wrote the update, it was a comment back to someone on a status I had written and not everyone saw it, so I'm sorry I've been so scatterbrained. :/
My class has been having a lot of struggles with being spiritually attacked but we're standing strong! Some of us have been sick, some of us have issues at home that we're worried about, and others of us haven't been getting much sleep at night. I've been doing pretty well for the most part but I haven't been getting good sleep and there are things going on at home that have been on my mind a lot that I've been worried about.
This week is week 6 already which means that we have about 6 more (I believe we have 12 weeks of lecture all together)!! We are doing what we call "Holy Spirit" week. It's so crazy the things that I've been learning and one of the things that stood out to me was the fact that we have to take God for all that he is and not just the things that we're comfortable with. Honestly on the first day, I was thinking that there weren't really very many areas that I could think about where I was uncomfortable. But then we started talking about the gifts of prophecy and tongues and mannnn let me tell you, that's a whole other realm that I didnt really think much about. I still dont really know how to process everything but I know that its all based on scripture and I feel like I understand so many things so much better now. Another key quote that I liked is that often God will offend our minds in order to reveal what's in our hearts. With the whole issue of the Holy Spirit, I'm learning that there's a difference between being baptized in the persons of God (the trinity) and actually being baptized BY the Holy spirit. One is being literally baptized but it doesnt mean the Holy Spirit is in you, and the other IS Him inside you. I guess I never really thought of that until today. It's weird how sometimes you can think you know so much about God and then you realize that you dont. Honestly my view has been changing and its been so encouraging to be taken out of my box. Yesterday, I dont know if it was the first time or what but I found myself swaying in class which wasn't something I was doing on my own. I also found myself shaking and having a hard time breathing cause of how fast my heart was beating. I guess when the Holy Spirit enters you, the devilish spirits are leaving and thats why you have a hard time breathing sometimes. Anyway, I just was crying out of the blue which is weird cause I tend to be a really logical person and I dont cry unless I have a legit reason and even then, I dont like to cry in daylight and especially in front of others. Today though...I learned how to speak in tongues and it was the weirdest thing ever...I felt so much peace and even though it was scary...I finally understand it in a different way then what I was brought up with. I guess I always thought that maybe it was demonic and that only super special people could do it.
The latest with my class, is that we're trying to fundraise to get support for outreach. We have to have a certain amount in by this coming Friday (17th) and then the rest of it by next week. I honestly am feeling so much peace even though there are several thousand dollars more that I need. I dont worry cause I know that God got me this far and he really cares so deeply about this and the things of my heart, that he's going to take care of this. Please pray for my class! We're fundraising this Saturday night at 7pm our time and a lot of my friends are doing a work duty which means they are working for about eight hours in the day and are tired. Please pray that we will get all the planning done that we need to, that we will get the sleep and have the energy that we need and that we will have a lot of people interested in coming. Also, please pray that we will get the exact amounts that we need and that IF there are any of us that are meant to go home instead of outreach, that we'll be able to afford a ticket home and that God will show us what he has next for us. Thanks so much for the prayers and support!!
I cant remember what I last wrote about, but I wanted to let you all know that I had a friend in my class who got really ill for about a week and then took a medication that she had an allergic reaction to so she's been battling a lot this last week. Thank you all who have been praying for her, she is doing so much better! My other friend who had the visa problems about a few weeks ago is here and safe. I guess when I wrote the update, it was a comment back to someone on a status I had written and not everyone saw it, so I'm sorry I've been so scatterbrained. :/
My class has been having a lot of struggles with being spiritually attacked but we're standing strong! Some of us have been sick, some of us have issues at home that we're worried about, and others of us haven't been getting much sleep at night. I've been doing pretty well for the most part but I haven't been getting good sleep and there are things going on at home that have been on my mind a lot that I've been worried about.
This week is week 6 already which means that we have about 6 more (I believe we have 12 weeks of lecture all together)!! We are doing what we call "Holy Spirit" week. It's so crazy the things that I've been learning and one of the things that stood out to me was the fact that we have to take God for all that he is and not just the things that we're comfortable with. Honestly on the first day, I was thinking that there weren't really very many areas that I could think about where I was uncomfortable. But then we started talking about the gifts of prophecy and tongues and mannnn let me tell you, that's a whole other realm that I didnt really think much about. I still dont really know how to process everything but I know that its all based on scripture and I feel like I understand so many things so much better now. Another key quote that I liked is that often God will offend our minds in order to reveal what's in our hearts. With the whole issue of the Holy Spirit, I'm learning that there's a difference between being baptized in the persons of God (the trinity) and actually being baptized BY the Holy spirit. One is being literally baptized but it doesnt mean the Holy Spirit is in you, and the other IS Him inside you. I guess I never really thought of that until today. It's weird how sometimes you can think you know so much about God and then you realize that you dont. Honestly my view has been changing and its been so encouraging to be taken out of my box. Yesterday, I dont know if it was the first time or what but I found myself swaying in class which wasn't something I was doing on my own. I also found myself shaking and having a hard time breathing cause of how fast my heart was beating. I guess when the Holy Spirit enters you, the devilish spirits are leaving and thats why you have a hard time breathing sometimes. Anyway, I just was crying out of the blue which is weird cause I tend to be a really logical person and I dont cry unless I have a legit reason and even then, I dont like to cry in daylight and especially in front of others. Today though...I learned how to speak in tongues and it was the weirdest thing ever...I felt so much peace and even though it was scary...I finally understand it in a different way then what I was brought up with. I guess I always thought that maybe it was demonic and that only super special people could do it.
The latest with my class, is that we're trying to fundraise to get support for outreach. We have to have a certain amount in by this coming Friday (17th) and then the rest of it by next week. I honestly am feeling so much peace even though there are several thousand dollars more that I need. I dont worry cause I know that God got me this far and he really cares so deeply about this and the things of my heart, that he's going to take care of this. Please pray for my class! We're fundraising this Saturday night at 7pm our time and a lot of my friends are doing a work duty which means they are working for about eight hours in the day and are tired. Please pray that we will get all the planning done that we need to, that we will get the sleep and have the energy that we need and that we will have a lot of people interested in coming. Also, please pray that we will get the exact amounts that we need and that IF there are any of us that are meant to go home instead of outreach, that we'll be able to afford a ticket home and that God will show us what he has next for us. Thanks so much for the prayers and support!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
I in my Savior am happy and blest
Hi everyone!! I want to go in more depth about what's been going on lately here soon, but I want to share what God has been doing this last week!
So to start out, it was a little weird of a week. It was really emotional and just so much going on. I felt like I got the answers I needed, so I felt peace and that things are going to be ok. :)
I'm not sure what all I already mentioned, but I think I've told you all by this point that it's 100 percent certain that we're not going to Israel. I was a little disappointed because I mean, it's ISRAEL...who wouldn't want to go there?? But at the same time I just didnt feel peace about it in my heart and really praying and hoping God will protect my school, me, and anyone that might be in Israel at the time that none of us felt peace with being there. I dont know what's going to happen but I feel that it could be big. I really think that God is going to protect us though and use us in big ways. We're all getting excited about the visions and things that God is speaking to our class about the outreach!! There is a funny thing though...we're not going to Israel but one of the many places we're going in South Africa, is called "Bethlehem" haha God is crazy awesome that way!! We found out that we're going to LA (California) for outreach. It's kind of weird because I have other friends that are worried about the outreach fee and yet with me I dont have very much funds towards it at this time but I feel peace and just know in my heart that if I'm meant to go, God is going to work it out and I'm not going to freak out about it when there really is nothing that I can do. I dont know how I feel about going because there are so many things either way both pros and cons to going home. I want to stay because I want to be able to graduate from here. Yes, it's going to be a really long time before I can touch and just be with my family and friends, but then I get to graduate which isn't really something I could say I've done before with that much pride! I will be missing a lot of things back home but I know God is good and I know that the things I miss are going to be worked out in such a way where I'll survive haha.
This past week was what we call "Corporate Week" which is basically all the DTS students (about 600 out of the thousand or so) meet at the Ohana court (where we have the live streams of worship services on Thursday nights and Monday mornings) and we have worship and a speaker gives a message. This week the speaker that taught was covering several topics and one that is standing out to me is just the fact that when you let God love you, everything else falls into place and you dont need to worry about anything. God has really been blessing me so much. Some of you have heard this, but we have a boutique on campus which is basically like GoodWill but free, so you can just take the items that you like. Honestly, there have been so many things I needed or even things I simply wanted that I was thinking "I'm more than willing to live without such and such.." and yet God provided those very things! Another huge blessing that pretty much had me SO close to being in tears, was the fact that just yesterday I was freaking out about how I'm going to afford to get home AND cover my costume fee (costume fees are $200) so I was just praying about it cause I just felt terrible for asking for more support from anyone who is already giving more than I could ever dream of. Well, today when I went to go pay my costume fee I was told that it was paid for me and that the person that did it wanted to remain anonymous. I am SO so blessed, I couldn't even speak because of how strong the shock was. I really feel like we are all family here, its so amazing. For all my Creation friends, it really feels like that in some ways. Every day feels like Creation but with more of a school/house setting rather than a concert/camping setting. Like I mentioned in the more personal blog, there are some things I'm struggling with right now with my classes and things that I want to just think through so I can figure out what to apply. Please continue to be praying for me because there are situations coming up that I'm possibly going to have to make decisions about. Thank you so much for all your prayers, I really REALLY appreciate them so much more than you know!! You really are a part of this journey with me! Going to try my best to write more updates here soon. Love you all, blessings!!
So to start out, it was a little weird of a week. It was really emotional and just so much going on. I felt like I got the answers I needed, so I felt peace and that things are going to be ok. :)
I'm not sure what all I already mentioned, but I think I've told you all by this point that it's 100 percent certain that we're not going to Israel. I was a little disappointed because I mean, it's ISRAEL...who wouldn't want to go there?? But at the same time I just didnt feel peace about it in my heart and really praying and hoping God will protect my school, me, and anyone that might be in Israel at the time that none of us felt peace with being there. I dont know what's going to happen but I feel that it could be big. I really think that God is going to protect us though and use us in big ways. We're all getting excited about the visions and things that God is speaking to our class about the outreach!! There is a funny thing though...we're not going to Israel but one of the many places we're going in South Africa, is called "Bethlehem" haha God is crazy awesome that way!! We found out that we're going to LA (California) for outreach. It's kind of weird because I have other friends that are worried about the outreach fee and yet with me I dont have very much funds towards it at this time but I feel peace and just know in my heart that if I'm meant to go, God is going to work it out and I'm not going to freak out about it when there really is nothing that I can do. I dont know how I feel about going because there are so many things either way both pros and cons to going home. I want to stay because I want to be able to graduate from here. Yes, it's going to be a really long time before I can touch and just be with my family and friends, but then I get to graduate which isn't really something I could say I've done before with that much pride! I will be missing a lot of things back home but I know God is good and I know that the things I miss are going to be worked out in such a way where I'll survive haha.
This past week was what we call "Corporate Week" which is basically all the DTS students (about 600 out of the thousand or so) meet at the Ohana court (where we have the live streams of worship services on Thursday nights and Monday mornings) and we have worship and a speaker gives a message. This week the speaker that taught was covering several topics and one that is standing out to me is just the fact that when you let God love you, everything else falls into place and you dont need to worry about anything. God has really been blessing me so much. Some of you have heard this, but we have a boutique on campus which is basically like GoodWill but free, so you can just take the items that you like. Honestly, there have been so many things I needed or even things I simply wanted that I was thinking "I'm more than willing to live without such and such.." and yet God provided those very things! Another huge blessing that pretty much had me SO close to being in tears, was the fact that just yesterday I was freaking out about how I'm going to afford to get home AND cover my costume fee (costume fees are $200) so I was just praying about it cause I just felt terrible for asking for more support from anyone who is already giving more than I could ever dream of. Well, today when I went to go pay my costume fee I was told that it was paid for me and that the person that did it wanted to remain anonymous. I am SO so blessed, I couldn't even speak because of how strong the shock was. I really feel like we are all family here, its so amazing. For all my Creation friends, it really feels like that in some ways. Every day feels like Creation but with more of a school/house setting rather than a concert/camping setting. Like I mentioned in the more personal blog, there are some things I'm struggling with right now with my classes and things that I want to just think through so I can figure out what to apply. Please continue to be praying for me because there are situations coming up that I'm possibly going to have to make decisions about. Thank you so much for all your prayers, I really REALLY appreciate them so much more than you know!! You really are a part of this journey with me! Going to try my best to write more updates here soon. Love you all, blessings!!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
I'll Become Even More Undignified Than This...
Hi everyone!! I have to keep this blog short for today since I have a long day tomorrow that I have to go to bed early for haha. :)
I found out in class today that everything is pretty much almost set for Africa. We found out something interesting that one of the places we're going in South Africa is called Bethlehem...kinda cool how God works those things out huh?? Another thing is that we're still trying to get things together for California since we're hoping to do outreach in LA. Please be praying those things come together as well. Something I want to share is that when I found out that we'd most likely be going to LA, I was thinking of coming straight home since I live so close. The thing I didnt realize though is that it's going to cost a LOT more for baggage if I carry everything with me, and technically I'm not suppose to bring all that much to Africa so I'd have to leave those things in Kona. Someone reminded me too, that if I went home at that point, it would pretty much defeat the whole idea of graduating. For some reason I totally forgot all about the fact that this is a school and that you can get some kind of diploma here. It doesnt even really seem like work, even with all the crazy lessons I've been learning. It feels more like just how life should be; learning more about God, learning to love others more, getting healing, making a difference and all the rest. All that to say, I think I've decided that as long as I'm able to get all my fees for outreach, I'm going to go to the whole thing and just come home when everyone else does. Something I could use prayer for, is whether or not God really wants me to go on outreach. I want to go, but it has to be His will and I would really like to know soon because it's going to affect when I'd be going home and the sooner I get my tickets the better. I just really dont have too much outreach funds right now and I think either all or most of it is due by the end of this next week. I think right now I feel peace, I'm ok with maybe not being able to go but at the same time we're working so hard for this and I would like to be able to complete the full school. I'm feeling a little torn with this cause on the one hand, I've learned a lot so if I went home I would be ok and plus there are a lot of things I'd be missing out on here. On the other hand though, I know God will work everything out and I know that if I stay here it's going to be amazing. Please pray that if I'm supposed to go on outreach, that everything will come together and that if I'm supposed to go home, that I'll get the tickets home soon and all the money I need for that too! Also, I need to pay for costume fees cause they're going to be ordered next week. I might have the money, I just haven't had the time to cash it yet! Today, I've really learned a lot in class. We were talking about the importance of living a life that is passionate for God, and then we also talked about living a life where we dont seek approval of anyone-not even God because we already have his approval! One last update...I feel like my friends and I did ok for worship today when we were leading! We'll get better and I'm excited to see how God might use us. Please please be praying for me!! :) Blessings!
I found out in class today that everything is pretty much almost set for Africa. We found out something interesting that one of the places we're going in South Africa is called Bethlehem...kinda cool how God works those things out huh?? Another thing is that we're still trying to get things together for California since we're hoping to do outreach in LA. Please be praying those things come together as well. Something I want to share is that when I found out that we'd most likely be going to LA, I was thinking of coming straight home since I live so close. The thing I didnt realize though is that it's going to cost a LOT more for baggage if I carry everything with me, and technically I'm not suppose to bring all that much to Africa so I'd have to leave those things in Kona. Someone reminded me too, that if I went home at that point, it would pretty much defeat the whole idea of graduating. For some reason I totally forgot all about the fact that this is a school and that you can get some kind of diploma here. It doesnt even really seem like work, even with all the crazy lessons I've been learning. It feels more like just how life should be; learning more about God, learning to love others more, getting healing, making a difference and all the rest. All that to say, I think I've decided that as long as I'm able to get all my fees for outreach, I'm going to go to the whole thing and just come home when everyone else does. Something I could use prayer for, is whether or not God really wants me to go on outreach. I want to go, but it has to be His will and I would really like to know soon because it's going to affect when I'd be going home and the sooner I get my tickets the better. I just really dont have too much outreach funds right now and I think either all or most of it is due by the end of this next week. I think right now I feel peace, I'm ok with maybe not being able to go but at the same time we're working so hard for this and I would like to be able to complete the full school. I'm feeling a little torn with this cause on the one hand, I've learned a lot so if I went home I would be ok and plus there are a lot of things I'd be missing out on here. On the other hand though, I know God will work everything out and I know that if I stay here it's going to be amazing. Please pray that if I'm supposed to go on outreach, that everything will come together and that if I'm supposed to go home, that I'll get the tickets home soon and all the money I need for that too! Also, I need to pay for costume fees cause they're going to be ordered next week. I might have the money, I just haven't had the time to cash it yet! Today, I've really learned a lot in class. We were talking about the importance of living a life that is passionate for God, and then we also talked about living a life where we dont seek approval of anyone-not even God because we already have his approval! One last update...I feel like my friends and I did ok for worship today when we were leading! We'll get better and I'm excited to see how God might use us. Please please be praying for me!! :) Blessings!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Come Away with me
Hi everyone!! I'm trying my best to write as frequent updates as possible and really wanting to write an update for the month of April really soon as well! I think I mentioned in my last post that my class was thinking about the possibility of not going to Israel. I was disappointed at first because it was a place that I wanted to visit (who wouldnt though? ahha) but then at the same time, I didnt feel peace with it. I guess there were other schools that were going to go to Israel as well and the leader who founded YWAM said that when he prayed about it, he didnt feel peace either. I guess my school leader took it harder than I did, she said she is feeling really sad because she LOVES Israel so much. We got news though that the place we might be going after South Africa, will most likely be LA (California). It's kind of weird to think of doing outreach in the states but I honestly dont mind. I think there are a lot of lost people right here in America and we dont even realize it. Lately, I've been working a lot harder at learning the dance routines and songs that I've been singing because I think I'm realizing the importance of what this all represents. God is going to do big things with our willing souls and bodies and I want to be a part of it. I loved dance before, but it was more just learning the different routines and make it through a class. Now it's becoming more of something where I am holding onto each of my teachers words so that I can do the best I can for God to use however he wants. We literally have almost non-stop days and by the end of the week days I'm usually wiped out and not having enough strength to write blogs and what not. I could really use prayer with that because I've been unable to do different important things as well, just because I've not had the time. I go to my work duty at 5am, and dont come home for good until 7 pm some nights. I still owe my costume fee and need to have that really soon and yet the building for that is on the other side of the campus (kind of a long walk) and I've never had enough free time during the week to do that. I would do it on the weekend, but they're not open at that time. I've not been getting the best sleep either and I think its one of those things where I just put up with it and convince myself that I'm ok and yet not feeling that strong in the day time. I start helping lead worship once a week with my friends, tomorrow so I'm both nervous and excited. I just want to be a blessing and I want God to use my voice how he sees is best. :) As far as lessons in class, this week is corporate week which means that all of us who are on DTS (about 600) meet in the Ohana court (for those of you who watch the live stream, this is the place we all meet for worship on Monday mornings and Thursday evenings) to hear a speaker give a message. It has been really amazing this week so far. :) Please be praying that I will apply the things I've learned and that I'll stay healthy and strong! It's hard to find time for all those important things and yet I know that it's essential to the whole experience. If you would like to support me financially, please let me know! Thank you all so much for the prayers and support you give..I'm so blessed!!
Saturday, April 27, 2013
His Peculiar Treasure
So many crazy things in such a short amount of time. I feel that even though this last week was really an emotional one, it was very good for me. I now feel that I can move forward into the future that God has for me and honestly hoping that it can be a long life cause there is so much to do and not that much time with how lost the world is. In my previous messages, I talked about how this week the teachers that were giving the messages this week, were encouraging us to go to places in the past and really focus on being more the people that God wants for us to be. The first day we talked about "The Mother Wound" and even though I know I talked about it a little already, I think the things that stood out the most were the parts that talked about how important it is that moms are healed before bringing kids into the world because if you can't love who God made you to be, you wont be able to show love to your kids. Although a dad plays a big role, its mainly through the mother that a child learns how to give and receive love as well as trust. Another one that we learned about the next day was the Father Wound and that one helped us see that a lot of how we see ourselves has to do with the "names" our fathers gave us whether they were intended for harm or good, or unintentional. So it was really interesting to see the different roles. The next day we were learning about letting the walls down in our lives (we talked about the Woman's heart), and then yesterday we talked about Men's heart. The things that stuck out is that we as women have to stop assuming things about men just because the few in our lives disappointed us. This was a big wake up for me because I know that due to different people in my past, it's easy for me to retreat and put up walls and find tons of things to blame about others. We talked a lot about forgiveness, confession, and so many other really good topics. Today we were talking about why its so important that we dance, sing and all the other things we do...for God. I dont know much at this moment, but we're thinking there's a possibility that we might not be able to go to Israel. God is just seeming to really be showing my class that he doesnt want us to go there this time. I'm hoping and praying the people I love dearly wont be in harms way and that God will protect us on all the dates that he has shown us. I'm not sure what this means for me personally so please be praying. A lot of us did get visions and I might share the ones that really impacted me soon. :) Please continue to pray for me that I will act on all the things that I've learned the last 3 weeks, that God will work out the personal issues, and that I'll get the rest of what I need for support. If you would like to help financially, please let me know!! Thank you all for the support you already have and are giving..I hope you will be blessed!!
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