Come Away with me

Hi everyone!! I'm trying my best to write as frequent updates as possible and really wanting to write an update for the month of April really soon as well! I think I mentioned in my last post that my class was thinking about the possibility of not going to Israel. I was disappointed at first because it was a place that I wanted to visit (who wouldnt though? ahha) but then at the same time, I didnt feel peace with it. I guess there were other schools that were going to go to Israel as well and the leader who founded YWAM said that when he prayed about it, he didnt feel peace either. I guess my school leader took it harder than I did, she said she is feeling really sad because she LOVES Israel so much. We got news though that the place we might be going after South Africa, will most likely be LA (California). It's kind of weird to think of doing outreach in the states but I honestly dont mind. I think there are a lot of lost people right here in America and we dont even realize it. Lately, I've been working a lot harder at learning the dance routines and songs that I've been singing because I think I'm realizing the importance of what this all represents. God is going to do big things with our willing souls and bodies and I want to be a part of it. I loved dance before, but it was more just learning the different routines and make it through a class. Now it's becoming more of something where I am holding onto each of my teachers words so that I can do the best I can for God to use however he wants. We literally have almost non-stop days and by the end of the week days I'm usually wiped out and not having enough strength to write blogs and what not. I could really use prayer with that because I've been unable to do different important things as well, just because I've not had the time. I go to my work duty at 5am, and dont come home for good until 7 pm some nights. I still owe my costume fee and need to have that really soon and yet the building for that is on the other side of the campus (kind of a long walk) and I've never had enough free time during the week to do that. I would do it on the weekend, but they're not open at that time. I've not been getting the best sleep either and I think its one of those things where I just put up with it and convince myself that I'm ok and yet not feeling that strong in the day time. I start helping lead worship once a week with my friends, tomorrow so I'm both nervous and excited. I just want to be a blessing and I want God to use my voice how he sees is best. :) As far as lessons in class, this week is corporate week which means that all of us who are on DTS (about 600) meet in the Ohana court (for those of you who watch the live stream, this is the place we all meet for worship on Monday mornings and Thursday evenings) to hear a speaker give a message. It has been really amazing this week so far. :) Please be praying that I will apply the things I've learned and that I'll stay healthy and strong! It's hard to find time for all those important things and yet I know that it's essential to the whole experience. If you would like to support me financially, please let me know! Thank you all so much for the prayers and support you give..I'm so blessed!!

His Peculiar Treasure

So many crazy things in such a short amount of time. I feel that even though this last week was really an emotional one, it was very good for me. I now feel that I can move forward into the future that God has for me and honestly hoping that it can be a long life cause there is so much to do and not that much time with how lost the world is. In my previous messages, I talked about how this week the teachers that were giving the messages this week, were encouraging us to go to places in the past and really focus on being more the people that God wants for us to be. The first day we talked about "The Mother Wound" and even though I know I talked about it a little already, I think the things that stood out the most were the parts that talked about how important it is that moms are healed before bringing kids into the world because if you can't love who God made you to be, you wont be able to show love to your kids. Although a dad plays a big role, its mainly through the mother that a child learns how to give and receive love as well as trust. Another one that we learned about the next day was the Father Wound and that one helped us see that a lot of how we see ourselves has to do with the "names" our fathers gave us whether they were intended for harm or good, or unintentional. So it was really interesting to see the different roles. The next day we were learning about letting the walls down in our lives (we talked about the Woman's heart), and then yesterday we talked about Men's heart. The things that stuck out is that we as women have to stop assuming things about men just because the few in our lives disappointed us. This was a big wake up for me because I know that due to different people in my past, it's easy for me to retreat and put up walls and find tons of things to blame about others. We talked a lot about forgiveness, confession, and so many other really good topics. Today we were talking about why its so important that we dance, sing and all the other things we do...for God. I dont know much at this moment, but we're thinking there's a possibility that we might not be able to go to Israel. God is just seeming to really be showing my class that he doesnt want us to go there this time. I'm hoping and praying the people I love dearly wont be in harms way and that God will protect us on all the dates that he has shown us. I'm not sure what this means for me personally so please be praying. A lot of us did get visions and I might share the ones that really impacted me soon. :) Please continue to pray for me that I will act on all the things that I've learned the last 3 weeks, that God will work out the personal issues, and that I'll get the rest of what I need for support. If you would like to help financially, please let me know!! Thank you all for the support you already have and are giving..I hope you will be blessed!!

The Healing

Hi everyone!! Let me just say that the last few days have been super emotional and the reason that I've not been able to post as much is because we were asked not to take notes all of this week because our teachers want us to focus with our hearts instead of our minds. As some of you may know, day one (Monday) we talked about the "Mother wound" which is basically either large or small ways that our mothers have hurt us. The speakers were saying that even if we have the most loving of mothers (like me hehe) there are still probably things even from when we were really little that somewhere along the lines we got a negative thought in our minds and need to heal from it. I learned that it's through a mother that children can learn what love is and how to love. If they dont receive that, it can be really damaging. A lot of teens rebel because they dont feel loved by their parents and these speakers were saying how often the parents aren't as involved whether physically or emotionally because they themselves have hurt and that they're just passing it down to their kids. The speakers this week is a lovely couple and they both take turns on speaking which I love. The wife was talking about how if we women want to be the best wives and mothers, we have to learn to heal from those wounds. So, needless to say..it was a long class. There were so many things there that I didnt even realize just because I dont see those things that happened when I was little as a big deal anymore and I have one of the best (if not actually THEE most) wonderful mother. :D The "Father Wound" was yesterday and we were learning how there are areas that father's have authority of that the mothers dont have and it's not because the lady is less than a man, it's just simply that God gave them a different role. I learned that men have authority of "naming" a child whether it's their literal name or it's a title they give them. So we worked through that and that was a very emotional day for me as well. We worked on a session called Confession where we had to tell a leader about one to three of the sins in our lives that we've never told anyone, so I told them things that I dont even know if my best friend knows. It was SO freeing. Today though, we were working on letting go of the wounds that have caused us to have closed hearts. We were learning today that God has created us women to lay down our lives and that we have very compassionate hearts. There is a verse in Ephesians where it talks about men laying down their lives and for women to respect their husbands and the reason that passage is in there, is because God didnt create the natural tendency in men to lay down their lives and he didnt create us women to automatically respect. There were so many things I learned but the biggest that stuck out to me was the part about needing to have an open heart otherwise you wont be able to love your husband and kids the way God wants and you'll miss out on so many of the things He has for you. After that, we worked on "forgiveness." Both sessions were really good but I think the first one was VERY helpful. I was talking to some friends about part of the healing I wanted to see in my life. Before I came here, I was thinking about all the things I wanted God to do in me and though it's been really hard, God IS doing it. It's not comfortable since I dont like to cry often and I dont like to cry in front of people or during the day. I've been so exhausted and not wanting to face these memories but it's helping me learn to really understand love for the first time in a new light. It's a crazy and beautiful thing to have someone that you dont even know cry over you and prophesy good things to you. While we women were getting prayed for and experiencing ministry time, the men were speaking on behalf of all the guys that have hurt us in the past and asking for forgiveness. It was kind of weird in some ways because these specific guys haven't done anything to us personally, but it was very humbling to hear them be so sincere about it and it was so healing to hear someone ask for forgiveness. I'm hoping God does have marriage for me after this, but either way I just feel that I'm becoming a real full woman in this. Please be continuing to pray for me since the rest of this week is going to be really draining physically and emotionally and also I have personal things going on that I really need prayer for. Also, if you would like to support me financially, please let me know!! Blessings!

Pure Heart week---day 1

My word. It's only day one and this has been an insane day. I heard a lot of things about this couple that has come to speak this week, but I was kind of skeptical. People were saying that you're going to be crying all week long and that all the chairs in our class room are going to be taken away. I was like "wow that's pretty intense" and it wasn't really that I didnt believe them, but it was just something where I was like "yeah its going to take a lot to get me to feel that way." They asked us from the start not to take notes which is weird for me cause I'm such a note taker ha ha. Anyway though, we were talking about how we need to be open and not let anything stay bottled up inside. We were encouraged to really let the Lord work in our lives freely and for us not to hold anything back even though there would be lots of people who would see us with whatever effect took place. Something the husband said that stuck out at me was where he was talking about his past and that how with the things that happened to him, he has always thought that since it happened to him he must have deserved and wanted it and therefor he was a sinner too. His wife taught for the 2nd part of it and she just started talking about this thing called "the Mother wound". It was weird cause at first I was thinking that it didnt really apply to me because I honestly have the best mom I could ever ask for and she is so loving. They continued to say though, that every one has a mother wound even if it wasn't something that was intentional by our moms. I was told that if we dont heal the things of our pasts, we're going to take that into our marriages and children's lives and that it will just cause a really unhealthy family and we need to break those things of our past this week. I have a side comment that I was actually on the verge of tears right before our half time break which was crazy cause we had only barely started. As I was standing there though, we were nudged to think of times that even though possibly unintentional, our moms left us alone or were cross or something--anything that happened and for me I had to go wayyy back to my child hood to find anything. I realized that there was an incident where I had thought that I wasn't cared about because I was in my crib and I thought I saw a demon but I was told that it was my imagination and that I was just making things up to get out of nap time. I realized that in that moment I just felt that what I had to say wasn't going to be believed and taken for what it was. There were other things but all that to say, I was able to let go of things that I didnt know were even there and I feel so free now. It was insane though to see my new friends all crying their eyes out but it was beautiful. It felt so comforting to have people stroking my hair and talking to me the way my mom would if she were here. It really was a great experience and we learned how we mothers have a really special gift and job of teaching our kids how to love and to trust at a really young age. Part of me has always looked at it where I love kids, but I would basically not have much of a job till they get to high school and then I have to try to help them live their dreams. I know that's not all of what I thought obviously, but it wasn't too much deeper than that. I'm seeing now that the way a mother treats her child etc---remembering to say she is wrong when she was, is super important towards teaching the child how to trust and to love. The speaker was saying that what goes on in the home is actually more important then the dreams you try to live out; even if they're for God. It was just a crazy day and though I know that the topics for this week are going to be hard, I can really feel that these are the things that I'm supposed to be learning and I'm thankful they're coming about this way. I'm going to try to write more whenever I learn things, but I hope that you all are enjoying hearing about my journey! If you would like to support me financially, I'm still needing funds for tickets home and the rest of my fees for outreach. Please be praying!! Thanks so much for listening and I hope you were encouraged!! Blessings :) 

Voice of God

So I'm a little behind with my notes since it's now week 3 for school haha. For part 3 of Father Heart of God week, these are some of the things that I learned:
Our number one priority in life needs to be relationship with God.
Never blame others, take responsibility for your part in the situation. God created us in His image so that we could see him better.
When we put up shields, it keeps us from experiencing the full blessings in love that God has for us. Christ died for our sins but he did more for us that day; he got the keys back for us. There are things that can keep us from God like our fears, the past and other things and yet God wants to take care of those things and heal us of our wounds.
Yesterday is yesterday...you shouldn't be carrying the negative parts of yesterday into today but you DO need to carry the positive things into today because if you never apply the things you learn, it's just head knowledge and is no good because it cant and wont transform you.
---- I pretty much have to sum up all of what I learned because there were so many things. We were talking about how to tell the difference between the voices of the devil, your own voice, and then God's voice. This speaker was talking about how there are 3 parts of our lives= the spirit, the soul, and the body. The devil wants to get to your soul first so like your emotions and thoughts cause if he does that, he can get to your body. The devil always goes for the body first cause he knows that he cant destroy the head which is Christ. The devil cant tempt you through the spirit because the spirit is where God resides and it's completely pure. We were talking about how sometimes God will bring up random things in your life that might seem out of place, but that is just God really wanting to work on something with you.
Something cool we did, was instead of reading the 1 corinthians 13 verse the way we always do (which is usually a message about how we need to learn to be more patient etc)..which isn't a bad thing at all, we were learning about how God is those things (patient, kind etc) to us. I thought it was a really great spin on how God really loves us more than we would think.
I feel like for me specifically, God was really telling me to just to let go of past ways of thinking. I have to choose if I want to be fathered by lies or by love and I know that one sounds obvious as to which I should pick, but far too often I live the opposite way. The thing that I learned about myself that week was that I dont really accept love that easy. I know that I'm loved but I dont believe it. However, I felt like the walls were melting and its really scary. I'm facing all these things that I didnt even know where there or I did know, but just didnt want to talk about it or face it. They're not really bad things, they're just ways of thinking that have been making me miserable and more stressed than I've acknowledged. It's crazy how before I came here, I had these ideas of things that I was hoping could maybe happen and yet the crazy thing about it, is that all the changes that I wanted and knew NEEDED to happen are taking place. :)

Father Heart of God--end of week 2

I wanted to share with you all the different notes I've taken from this past week. I'll try my best to make it more understandable haha and I hope it's at least a fraction of how inspiring it was for me!
Something I knew before that was a good reminder is that the devil knows enough of our potential that he's going to do whatever he can to deceive us.
We are powerful and spiritual beings, and our speaker for this last week was telling us that most of us are deceived into thinking that we dont really have that much power in Christ.
We learned that to the degree that we understand God's love is the degree that we'll be able to love ourselves and others. We've heard it all before, that we're created in His image but I think it wasn't really till this week that I finally understood what that means. God loved us so much that he wanted to create the rest of the world first..just so we could see his beauty and enjoy different things about him. The crazy part is that even with how creative he was with the animals, humans are the only things that are truly created to have Christ's likeness.
We were told not to despise small beginnings since that's the way God starts out in all of us. God is healing you and you'll be able to learn to trust again---that was something that stood out to me when this speaker was prophesying over a friend. It really is something that caught me off guard because I don't think I've ever experienced someone getting a prophetic word over them. I really felt as though God was using what was said for those people, for the rest of us too. :)
We cant really live full lives when we're living based on lies...it's crazy to think just how many lies we actually believe and I'm so thankful that God showed us these things this last week. The way we live our lives really teaches sometimes more than words do. If you hear things multiple times, it's usually because God really wants you to listen to that thing. For me it seems like a no brainer but I think there are times where I KNOW that but I dont apply it.
When we put up shields in our lives, it keeps us from experiencing the full blessings God has for us. That was a big one for me, because I tend to retreat a lot when something is too hard, something I'm scared of, or upsetting me. If you dont take the things that you learned from yesterday, into today...then the things that you learned are pointless. Often there are things that I learn and yet never really process because I over think everything. :P Something I thought was really neat was that God is all things in our lives-the past, the present, and the future...which although might seem obvious...means that he has all of these things in control. He has our past, present, and future and he's going to use all the things in our lives to bring him glory. Even the times that we turn our backs on him, he will always pursue us. When we isolate ourselves, we open ourselves up to be deceived. Temptation appeals in the areas that we've been broken and it literally separates us from God. That's why there are times in our lives where we say "Why was God not protecting us" sometimes it's because we stepped out of his plan. I have a lot of other things to share too...but I think I'll save that more for later since I already wrote a lot, and I'll try to write more frequently that way there isn't always so much to read. :P Blessings!!

Fear of the Lord

I just now realized that there were some things I learned in between the "Character of God week" and "Father Heart of God" week. haha!
This might sound a little scatterbrained so please bear with me, but these are some of the notes I took from what my teacher taught:
Pride isn't always thinking you're really great at something and boasting about it. Sometimes pride comes in the form of false humility, which is basically you putting yourself down and displaying your insecurities to get self pity.
True humility is realizing that God is in it (every area of your life) and in US. Never say that you're not good enough in an area; God can always work on you.

When it comes to our dance, we're not dancing to get attention and we're not dancing to get the glory for ourselves so we can say "Look how many people are coming to Christ because of me." We dance because we want to tell people who God is by serving through dance. There is no room for insecurities, fear, or comparisons. I have to say that a lot of these things have really been hitting home with me cause I think sometimes I talk about how un-good (just made that a word haha) I am, because I want sympathy. I've been getting better...sometimes I'm genuinely insecure and just share that with others, but I'm learning how to actually handle that better.
We talked about how God got us here (this school at this time) for a reason. None of this is an accident and he wants us to hear these lessons because these are the things he wants us to deal with in our lives at this time. We talked about how David didnt let the fear of man stop him from serving God. Mary had every reason to not want to follow God and in that day, she would've been really condemned but she didnt give into her fear.
Later in the week of God's character, we were talking about how whenever God does something for us, he is trying to show something about himself to us. The one speaker for that message was trying to get us to think of ways that God has blessed us, and then with each blessing we had to write down 3 attributes about God. The only catch was that we had to do this for at least 10 different blessings, and each of the attributes had to be different. It was really eye opening to see all of the things that God is in our lives and the ways that he is providing even when we dont see it!!

Heart of the Father (beginning of week 2)

I believe that this week's lecture title is called The Heart of the Father. :) I'm going to leave the more personal stuff out since I know that those of you who know me and want to learn more about those areas, can ask me if you like! :) I will be honest and say that this week has been really challenging for me, which is really good but its been really hard. Already there have been issues brought to the surface that I didnt even know were either around still or even existing at all. One thing I've been learning is that I need to deal with things right as they come up, otherwise I have a tendency of sweeping under the rug and forgetting about it. Good news is that I have school all the way paid for!! I'm still waiting on the rest of outreach (which I have to have by May 1st), tickets to come home in October, and then personal funds to keep my phone etc going haha. There might be other things I need that I'm forgetting but other than that I think I'm good :) I still need a couple thousand with outreach and tickets included all together so please be praying God will provide and also if you would like to support me please let me know! I've had a crazy busy week-I saw a scorpion a few inches away (too close for comfort) and yet my good friend Gaeton is like "Dont be fraid of  for God wont let it keel you since you are doing His work" lol.  I've had non-stop days from 5am to about 8pm and then I dont really get to talk to very many people from home or even really figure out my thoughts on the lessons. It's pretty hard to find alone time but I really love the girls. 2 friends of mine and I wrote a song this weekend and then we took our music to the beach and I guess God brought my paths in line with 2 guys who were really interested in our art and wanted to know our stories. We had a little bit of a scare that I guess in the last quarter 3 people from this island (not from the school) were be-headed so now we have to be really careful when we travel. We got some bad news about one of my fellow students so she has to leave the states to get visa info figured out. Really hoping and praying the best for her! It was also the same day we found out about Boston and there were other things going on just for me personally. I cant remember if I mentioned this or not but I learned yesterday that if we dont really understand God's love, it's going to reflect in the way that we act and think. We got to watch the performance on DVD last night so now we know what our pieces are going to look like and Man they are GOOD. I guess I didnt know we will be performing in front of like 3,000 people! I tried out for hip hop again tonight so I dont really know whether or not I'm going to be able to be a part of it but I'm willing to learn. :) I already have recieved 2 letters from friends and family from home so I feel very loved and missed. :) I would love to add more but its super late here and I just need sleep I think ha. Anyway thank you for sharing in this journey with me and please be praying for the things going on in my life, my school, and with my peers. Please pray that I will figure out what to do after this etc. One thing that I wanted to mention too, is that today we were talking about orphans and I was just thinking Lord willing, I want my husband to be open to that someday. Anyway it's really weird the things God is doing in me. Thanks for your prayers and support!

Week 1--- Character of God

Hey everyone!! It’s been a crazy last couple of days: Thursday, I headed out via Portland airport and my flight thankfully went great. I got to San Francisco and it was neat because I was able to talk to a couple people while waiting for my flight, and got to share my story a little! Unfortunately, my flight kept getting delayed and the airline kept having us move gates---probably over 10 times. Finally they told us that our flight was cancelled. I was expecting to sleep in the airport and try to figure something out for the next day and I was trying to figure out what I was going to do about food since I hadn’t eaten much that day. It was while I was in a 3 hour line trying to rebook my flights, that I found 2 fellow YWAMers and we were able to stick together and got the same hotel for the night (provided by the airline) and thankfully dinner and transportation were also taken care of. I was feeling so blessed to have an actual place to stay for the night and felt so blessed that it was an amazing hotel. The next day we left at 3 am for our flight to Arizona and then finally made it to our flight to Kona! It was about 8 hr flight but it was a good one and very restful (not like my previous 2 haha). As soon as I walked out the plane I could tell that it was going to be an adjustment—it’s a lot hotter than Washington!! :P The dynamic here is so different-each time we have a speaker, we have someone (always a girl) give a lei to him and kiss on the left cheek and then we give a gift. I was so welcomed when I arrived…most of my class was on the sidewalk waiting for me and one of the guys from a different country kissed my hand and gave me a gift lol. At first the room arrangements were all mixed up so I wasn’t sure where I was going to stay but God provided! The coolest part was that I was in a room with most of the girls from my class. :) We all bonded pretty fast and then we had a welcome ceremony. The next day, we went to the beaches (where I got really sunburned haha) and then the following day (Sunday) we went to a church on the beach. There were a lot of lessons that I learned this week. One of the first ones that I really remember well was the one on Sunday where we were learning the importance of keeping our love turned on even with people that are the hardest to love. In all the things that I’ve been experiencing whether unpleasant or way fun, God has been showing me so much about himself and about me. The way we worship here is crazy and open which I love. We all pray out loud at the same time, and every time someone gives their testimony, we have them stand in the middle of the room and we all come around them and pray for them. We all support each other and there is no judgment. My teacher told us from the get go that we need to put all insecurity, comparisons and fears etc out. We need to rebuke those things in Jesus powerful name and not live in their influence. I’ve been learning so many things about the Bible and the thing that makes that such a big deal is that I’ve been a Christian so long that I’ve pretty much heard every story and yet they’re coming alive to me. I’m going to try later to write out some of the notes on the different lessons from the classes I’ve gone to, but one thing I learned today for example, is that God shows himself through the things that we go through. We all got this really cool Bible which is called the Sourceview Bible and its basically the Bible in script form and the chapters aren’t separated. Auditions went pretty well..though most of us have found that we’ve been put in places that we either didn’t expect or didn’t want as much as other places. I really feel that for me personally that God is really stretching me in every way. Its crazy and awesome how you ask God to stretch you and partially don’t expect him to, and then he stretches you more then you would be comfortable with. I’ve been doing things I never thought I would do: traveling alone, stayed in a hotel by myself, plane ride for the first time alone, moved away from home to a totally different state, sharing a room with 9 other girls, praying in a big group, praising God out loud…it doesn’t end. God is showing me things about myself that I never really noticed before. Something I feel like I’ve been learning is that (and I could be wrong with this) God might be using this to prepare me for marriage. I just feel like all the things that I’ve been learning through this process and the things that I’ve been learning in class, are just really helping me become more of a woman. It’s weird cause at 5pm tonight it will have been a full week and yet it feels longer in some ways because of all the things that are changing in my life. I definitely don’t think I’m going to be the same person when I go home in hopefully October. I mean I’m cleaning men’s bathroom for my job which is something that has been growing my character as well lol. There are many more stories but in short, God has been showing me so much and he is so very good. Please be keeping me and my school also in your prayers. Pray that the devil will not control our minds and that we’ll notice when he is and that we will turn to God to throw those thoughts out. Thank you so much for the support and if you have any questions about what I’ve been learning or if you would like to support me, please let me know! I still need money for my flight home and a little more for outreach. School is covered though, God is so good!! Blessings, love you guys!

One Final Day

I still can't really believe that I'm leaving tomorrow! I think partly I've just been trying to keep everything curbed a little since I didnt really know till just recently that I was most likely going. I'm still not really sure what to think at this point because I know that there is so much going on along with this. I'm having to say good bye to different friends for about 6 months...and some of them are people I usually hangout with a lot so this is a weird thought to know that I wont be able to just see them whenever I want. I'm risking so much with my future in deciding to do this...I feel so strongly that it's really what God wants for the next 6 months but it definitely doesn't make any of this easier. I've been having a few close people in my life starting to get upset with me because I've not been thinking as clearly and have unknowingly been insensitive in my actions without intending to cause the confusion and hurt that I have been. This is really breaking my heart in a way because these things that I've been doing without realizing it are things I just naturally do when I'm scared. Several things are developing and there are some relationships that are deepening. I find that with certain people, there's a level where I just dont let them go any farther and it's not because I dont want them to. It's mostly because I'm afraid and those fears stem from the past. I was telling one of my best friends today that with God helping me, I'm going to do my best to let the hurts of the past and fears of the future go as I get on that plane to fly out. This is going to be about me and God and only that for this time frame. Part of me worries that I'll let something distract me and yet I know that God is going to carry me and I just need to do what I can and give him the rest and just trust in Him. There are still so many things that I need to be doing before I fly out tomorrow, and I only pray that I dont forget anything important! Please be keeping me in your prayers..today has been both fun and yet hard. I'm coming back and I know that, but saying good bye for 6 months is really hitting me. Please pray for clarity of mind so that I dont forget to do anything to prepare, and that I dont forget to pack something crucial. Thanks everyone, I'll try to update as soon as I can when I get there! Blessings :)

Blessed

I can't believe how fast everything is happening! I will save all the details, but YWAM has been on my heart since Freshman year of high school when I started going on mission trips with my youth group to Kamiah, Idaho through YWAM. Fast forward several years and it seemed that I came upon the Kona school site on accident. I was just looking for a week long mission trip and was led to the school site where I found that I'd be able to live my dream of doing art through missions and making a difference in people's lives! I just really felt God wanted me to apply so even though I wasn't sure it would work for me to go (I had looked into several other schools and things always fell through with them) I decided to just take a leap and do it. I dont know what I was expecting but I certainly never thought I'd be able to actually GO. For those of you who might not know, I've always wanted to visit Hawaii, go back to Africa, do dance...etc. I never thought it was possible to combine all of that until now. There have been so many crazy awesome things I've been seeing God do over the last couple months of preparing to leave. There have been several trials...most recently was the one where I was questioning whether God really wanted me to go. After a lot of prayer and encouragement, I was able to figure out that God really did want me to go but I had to let him help me sort through all the fears I have. The devil has been using several personal things in my life to try to get me to either question going, or just get discouraged to a point where I just dont have motivation to do the things necessary for preparing. God has had my back all the way through. I dont know for sure at this point, but I think I have most of my tuition paid for, I believe I have my flights, my shot I needed before school is taken care of, and there have been so many other blessings as well. I'm going to do my best to update regularly what is going on at school while I'm gone, and all that God will be doing! My hope and prayer is that all of you who will be witnessing my journey will be inspired and encouraged in your walk as well. I want to be a light and to make a difference. Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I'm getting really nervous for the arrival of the day I fly out (2 more days). I've not flown in about 18 years so this is really nerve racking for me especially since I'll be by myself. I'm trusting God with a lot of personal things that I wont know the outcome until possibly as long as October. Please pray for emotional, physical, and spiritual protection because I know that leading up to the time I leave is going to be challenging. Thank you so much and if any of you would like to support me financially please contact me and I'll walk you through it! Thanks for wanting to be a part of this story God is writing in my life. :)