Pure Heart week---day 1

My word. It's only day one and this has been an insane day. I heard a lot of things about this couple that has come to speak this week, but I was kind of skeptical. People were saying that you're going to be crying all week long and that all the chairs in our class room are going to be taken away. I was like "wow that's pretty intense" and it wasn't really that I didnt believe them, but it was just something where I was like "yeah its going to take a lot to get me to feel that way." They asked us from the start not to take notes which is weird for me cause I'm such a note taker ha ha. Anyway though, we were talking about how we need to be open and not let anything stay bottled up inside. We were encouraged to really let the Lord work in our lives freely and for us not to hold anything back even though there would be lots of people who would see us with whatever effect took place. Something the husband said that stuck out at me was where he was talking about his past and that how with the things that happened to him, he has always thought that since it happened to him he must have deserved and wanted it and therefor he was a sinner too. His wife taught for the 2nd part of it and she just started talking about this thing called "the Mother wound". It was weird cause at first I was thinking that it didnt really apply to me because I honestly have the best mom I could ever ask for and she is so loving. They continued to say though, that every one has a mother wound even if it wasn't something that was intentional by our moms. I was told that if we dont heal the things of our pasts, we're going to take that into our marriages and children's lives and that it will just cause a really unhealthy family and we need to break those things of our past this week. I have a side comment that I was actually on the verge of tears right before our half time break which was crazy cause we had only barely started. As I was standing there though, we were nudged to think of times that even though possibly unintentional, our moms left us alone or were cross or something--anything that happened and for me I had to go wayyy back to my child hood to find anything. I realized that there was an incident where I had thought that I wasn't cared about because I was in my crib and I thought I saw a demon but I was told that it was my imagination and that I was just making things up to get out of nap time. I realized that in that moment I just felt that what I had to say wasn't going to be believed and taken for what it was. There were other things but all that to say, I was able to let go of things that I didnt know were even there and I feel so free now. It was insane though to see my new friends all crying their eyes out but it was beautiful. It felt so comforting to have people stroking my hair and talking to me the way my mom would if she were here. It really was a great experience and we learned how we mothers have a really special gift and job of teaching our kids how to love and to trust at a really young age. Part of me has always looked at it where I love kids, but I would basically not have much of a job till they get to high school and then I have to try to help them live their dreams. I know that's not all of what I thought obviously, but it wasn't too much deeper than that. I'm seeing now that the way a mother treats her child etc---remembering to say she is wrong when she was, is super important towards teaching the child how to trust and to love. The speaker was saying that what goes on in the home is actually more important then the dreams you try to live out; even if they're for God. It was just a crazy day and though I know that the topics for this week are going to be hard, I can really feel that these are the things that I'm supposed to be learning and I'm thankful they're coming about this way. I'm going to try to write more whenever I learn things, but I hope that you all are enjoying hearing about my journey! If you would like to support me financially, I'm still needing funds for tickets home and the rest of my fees for outreach. Please be praying!! Thanks so much for listening and I hope you were encouraged!! Blessings :)