One Final Day

I still can't really believe that I'm leaving tomorrow! I think partly I've just been trying to keep everything curbed a little since I didnt really know till just recently that I was most likely going. I'm still not really sure what to think at this point because I know that there is so much going on along with this. I'm having to say good bye to different friends for about 6 months...and some of them are people I usually hangout with a lot so this is a weird thought to know that I wont be able to just see them whenever I want. I'm risking so much with my future in deciding to do this...I feel so strongly that it's really what God wants for the next 6 months but it definitely doesn't make any of this easier. I've been having a few close people in my life starting to get upset with me because I've not been thinking as clearly and have unknowingly been insensitive in my actions without intending to cause the confusion and hurt that I have been. This is really breaking my heart in a way because these things that I've been doing without realizing it are things I just naturally do when I'm scared. Several things are developing and there are some relationships that are deepening. I find that with certain people, there's a level where I just dont let them go any farther and it's not because I dont want them to. It's mostly because I'm afraid and those fears stem from the past. I was telling one of my best friends today that with God helping me, I'm going to do my best to let the hurts of the past and fears of the future go as I get on that plane to fly out. This is going to be about me and God and only that for this time frame. Part of me worries that I'll let something distract me and yet I know that God is going to carry me and I just need to do what I can and give him the rest and just trust in Him. There are still so many things that I need to be doing before I fly out tomorrow, and I only pray that I dont forget anything important! Please be keeping me in your prayers..today has been both fun and yet hard. I'm coming back and I know that, but saying good bye for 6 months is really hitting me. Please pray for clarity of mind so that I dont forget to do anything to prepare, and that I dont forget to pack something crucial. Thanks everyone, I'll try to update as soon as I can when I get there! Blessings :)